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When Your Honey Hates Your Hobby

When Your Honey Hates Your Hobby

By Janelle Cahoon, Quiltcentric

As I’ve said before, my husband is a “quilting enabler” and I love that he supports my quilting passion as he does, but I’ve been thinking lately about the plight of those quilters whose spouses are unsupportive, dismissive, complaining, or outright angry about their quilting hobby.

If this describes your situation, it might be helpful to try to find out why he turns hateful when it comes to your quilting. He probably has reasons that he thinks are obvious even if you don’t know what they are.  A conversation can be a good starting point; try to find out his viewpoint and the basis for his objections.

  • Are you leaving clutter around when he’s used to neatness?  That’s fixable; just pick up more or keep the clutter corralled, especially when he’s home.
  • Is your fabric stash growing too large or quilting purchases taking up too much of the family budget?  Again, that’s fixable.  You can probably live without the latest gadget, work from your stash for a while, or purchase fabric from the thrift store. (Men’s shirts are a great source of cotton fabric.)  Set a quilting budget and stick to it.
  • Is quilting taking you away to your sewing machine when he’s used to your company?  Try having some handwork like appliqué or binding that you can work on beside him.
  • Is quilting keeping you from doing the things around the house that you’ve always done before?  Don’t let your new creative outlet prevent you from fulfilling your family commitments.  Quilting is compelling but family is more important so meet your family obligations first and do your quilting afterwards.  If you can get the family to take on more chores around the house, that’s a win/win!
  • Are you doing more with your quilting friends and less with him?  If he’s feeling cast aside and jealous he needs to be reassured that you still love him but that quilting is both a hobby and an important means of creative expression for you.  Maybe he could take up a hobby of his own, or you can invite him to become involved in yours in some way, like going to a quilt show or textile museum together.

Find out what the objections are and then find a compromise that will work for both of you.

From what I’ve been told, many of the objections fall into the categories of jealousy/lack of time for the spouse or that tasks around the house aren’t getting done.  If you can give a little on some issues and get your hubby and family to compromise a little too, your honey and your hobby may be able to peacefully coexist.

 

Do you have experience dealing with a significant other who hated your hobby?  Let me know how you dealt with the problem and I’ll add your tips to this article!  Just email me through the Contact link, above.

 

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